Today I will finally achieve what has been deemed impossible.
Man can break the 50-mile-per-hour speed barrier.
And you are lucky enough to be a part of it.
"It surely shall, sir".
Yes. We will make history...
or die trying.
Die...? This is very exciting.
"I refuse to be catapulted electrocuted... "
or have my internal organs disrupted any longer!
I quit.
He is a very sick man.
The electrocution was not my fault!
You refused to wear the rubber underpants!
Is there no man brave enough to be my valet?
I'm your new valet.
I must commend the valet service
on their impeccable foresight.
But they know I only accept French valets.
Yes. Oui.
I come from a long line
of French valets on my father's side.
"Very, very French".
But your accent...?
"My father French, never speaks.
My mother Chinese, never shuts up."
All the children pick up her accent.
Are you willing to risk your life
to challenge the laws of physics?
"Yes. And I can sing, too."
Excellent. Put this little hat on.
And the throttle in your right hand controls the speed!
How do I stop?
Godspeed.
Twenty-five miles per hour Pressure's stable.
We need more speed!
Forty miles per hour. Hang on in there.
Forty-seven...
Forty-eight...
Forty-nine...
Eureka! We've done it!
Good morning.
I'm looking for a man with a steam turbine.
There he is! That's my valet!
Sorry! New valet.
Good morning.
You'll be able to let go any second.
The pack will run out of steam...
in exactly... three... two... one... now!
We've broken the human speed barrier!
"Goodbye, sir.
It's been very nice valeting for you."
Let's do it again soon.
"Wait! With you as my brave valet
I can test all my inventions."
No!
Yes. I take the job.
Splendid!
I can't wait to present my results to the Royal Academy!
ROYAL ACADEMY OF SCIENCE
And with this grant to develop
new applications for copper wire...
Doctor Ramsey invented this.
"Needless to say the Royal Academy of Science... "
declared this crackpot mentally incompetent...
and he was duly dispatched to a lunatic asylum.
"Sir, I have an urgent announcement for you."
Don't just stand there. Read it.
It is with great distress that Scotland Yard...
announces that the Bank of England has been robbed.
My stolen Jade Buddha-stolen!
You blighter!
You assured me that the Bank of England was impenetrable!
"Sir, I said "impregnable."
"It's the same thing, you idiot!"
"Please, not the quills!"
Lord Salisbury...
"Contact General Fang and inform her,
"no Buddha, no deal."
To forego your obligation would be dishonorable.
A woman in the Royal Academy?
We successfully delivered the Jade Buddha to the Bank of England.
What happens while it's in British hands
is absolutely your concern.
"Colonel Kitchner Chief of Scotland Yard... "
inform General Fang
what other items were stolen from the Bank of England.
Nothing else.
Exactly.
It seems your little land
dispute has spilled over onto our noble shore.
"Until the Jade Buddha is back in my possession
you and your cause... "
will receive no British military assistance whatsoever.
"My agents will retrieve the Jade Buddha once again
Lord Kelvin."
This time do not let it slip through your fingers.
What sort of pathetic man takes orders from a woman?
Come away from here.
"Oh, Dad, can't we stay?"
My wind-powered pulley system
circulates the house with fresh air.
Kitchen items are to be placed
on the white boat and the blue is for laundry.
This supplies the house with a running current of electricity.
Electricity?
This is my comprehensive daily schedule and list of regulations.
You're never to divert one iota from my plans.
I must live my life with total
efficiency to maximize my inventing capacity...
thus enabling me to do the most I can for mankind.
"Mr. Fogg, you are a noble precise gentleman."
Thank you.
"I'm sorry, what was your name?"
Uh... Passport
Too.
Passport-tout?
Bottled light. A miracle.
Hardly.
Just undiscovered science from an American named Thomas Edison.
It turns on with a whistle.
Please don't do that.
I see your eye is drawn to what
I hope will be my crowning achievement.
A giant moth?
It's a flying machine.
It can fly?
Yes.
No. But it will. One day.
One day it will transport people through the air.
Perhaps over entire oceans.
I think I'm going to have to make a rule for this.
Dear Father...
I will find the fastest way...
back to China to make our village safe once again.
Departure for the Royal Academy of Science in two minutes.
Prepare my Urban Transport Device.
It's the shoes with little wheels on them.
Clear the way!
Mr. Fogg coming through!
Watch out!
Out of the way!
Fogg's arrived
That makes it exactly ten minutes before noon.
That will be all.
Gentlemen...
today I have proved that man
can break the 50-mile-per-hour speed barrier...
without disrupting his internal organs.
Where is your Royal Academy of Science authorization?
"Oh, what am I thinking?
What a fool."
That would mean that you were a real scientist.
"By your definition, Kelvin... "
a real scientist's objective
would be to prevent man from progress.
"We live in a golden age, Fogg."
Everything worth discovering has been discovered.
Yet ridiculous dreamers like you insist...
"on a past filled with"
"dinosaurs" and" "evolution"... "
and on a future filled with motorized vehicles...
radio waves and flying machines.
Confound it!
The bloody Bank of England is a madhouse.
"Rumor has it the man's a foreigner, an Asian chap."
Nothing.
"I heard it was a Chinese fellow, and he acted alone."
"Actually, they say he was Norwegian."
"In fact, it was a gang of elderly Norwegians."
I heard from a very reliable source that it was a gang of...
red-headed elderly Norwegians with very tiny feet.
"If you ask me, it's about time someone robbed that bank."
"Like this very institution the Bank of England is outdated."
"As usual, Fogg, your contempt for tradition is appalling."
"You rest on your traditions if you prefer."
"But, as with this bank robber progress waits for no one."
"So now you're an expert on the bank thief, as well."
"Give us the benefit of your ineffable wisdom, Fogg."
"Twenty-six minutes ago a ship left Dover for Paris."
"From there, the thief takes the Orient Express
then transfers to a steamer... "
"from Istanbul to India.
In little over a month that man could be in China."
If we're to believe Fogg's calculations...
he will have circled the globe
and returned to England in a fortnight.
"By my calculations
it would be closer to exactly 80 days."
Outstanding idea.
"Well then, Fogg... "
let's see you circumnavigate the world in 80 days.
That would be a fruitless use of my time.
I'm on the verge of numerous
countless-scientific breakthroughs.
You coward. Admit it.
It cannot be done.
It can! I could do it.
A wager. Ten thousand pounds.
"Unlike you and your colleagues
money does not inspire me."
I believe every man has his price.
"Even you, noble Phileas Fogg."
There must be something
I could offer you that would be worthy of your time.
There is. Your position as head of the Royal Academy.
"With the Queen's ear
I could lead the world into a new age of progress and discovery."
Fair enough.
What?
"I, Lord Kelvin, hereby vow... "
to surrender my position as Minister of Science to Phileas Fogg...
if he can circumnavigate the globe...
in no more than 80 days.
But if he cannot...
he must never set foot in this Academy again...
he must tear down that abhorrent eyesore he calls a laboratory...
and he must swear...
never to invent again.
"Just as I always suspected, Fogg."
"You promise so much yet you deliver... nothing"
I'll take the wager.
What did you say?
I'll take your wager!
He'll take it?
Then it's done.
A man who has never set foot out of England circling the globe.
This is getting to be rather amusing.
"History won't remember your amusements, Lord Kelvin."
But it will be hard-pressed to forget the moment...
I'm standing on the very top step of the Royal Academy of Science...
"by the strike of noon after I, Phileas Fogg... "
have traveled around the world in 80 days!
"Oh, dear."
"Mr. Fogg, we're all packed and ready to go."
Are you in here?
"Are you well, sir?"
Passepartout!
Would you sit with me a moment?
"Yes, sir."
I've risked everything.
My entire life's work.
For something you believe in.
Nothing could make more sense than that.
"You're an honorable man Passepartout."
But I'm afraid this was a calamitous lapse of judgment.
Mr. Fogg?
Maybe we should let your family
know about there is no one left to tell.
This house and my inventions are all I have.
And a brave French valet that will
help you go around the world in 80 days.
You really believe we can succeed?
You're mad.
We'll be sliced to pieces before we reach India.
Halt!
"Quite a contraption you got here, Mr. Fogg."
"Thank you, Inspector."
But I'm afraid I'm going to have to detain you and your valet...
until further notice.
This new doohickey is in violation of the city's new vehicle code.
Vehicle code?
Code 431.
All vehicles must be powered by horses...
or other indigenous quadruped creatures of the like.
Excluding giraffes and.
You're driveling.
Stand aside.
I'm about to embark on a journey around the world.
"Not in this monstrosity you're not."
That's hot.
It's not.
Time to go.
We have a boat to catch.
Stealing a police vehicle is not an acceptable way to begin our journey.
Not stealing. Borrowing.
Excuse us.
We're just borrowing this vehicle to catch our ship to Paris.
If someone could inform the appropriate authorities.
Bloody hell!
My brain's leaking!
Damn that nincompoop Fix.
What's the point of hiring...
a corrupt police officer if he can't even abuse the law properly?
Tell Inspector Fix to pack his bags.
He's going on a little trip.
"Right away, sir."
Retrieve the Jade Buddha in Paris.
As for Lau Xing...
KILL HIM!
Smart man.
"Passepartout, will you tell this impudent fellow that we must leave... "
within 6 hours or we will miss our connection in Constantinople.
"Please, we are in a great hurry."
"Yes, sir."
In French.
You imbecile.
What did he say?
He said...
What?
He says not to worry.
The next train will leave in five hours.
Good time for sightseeing!
"This is a scientific expedition, not a holiday!"
I will not miss this train.
Very amazing.
What does it say?
"This week only
Eddie Thomason will be showing his new inventions."
Thomas Edison? Here in Paris?
What a chance for you to meet another great inventor.
"I would quite like to tell him about my"
"whistle" modification."
Good idea.
See?
An exhibition. Science!
"I assure you, these are not the works of Thomas Edison."
I think he's somewhere around here.
Wait a moment.
This isn't science!
This is art!
Yeah.
That painting is highly inaccurate.
"It's not supposed to be"accurate."
The artist views reality through imagination...
rather than simply recording it.
It is called Impressionism.
"Well, I'm not "impressed."
"Trees aren't violet
grass is not charcoal and a man cannot"
fly.
You feel something.
You dream of flying.
Or of naked men?
Sometimes.
The flying. Not the men.
I'm glad you like my painting.
Monique Larouche.
"Phileas Fogg.
Well, it's an awful lot better than these amateurs."
What did he say?
Oh no...
"Oh, no, not again."
Who is responsible for this vandalism?
"It's mine sir, does it please you?"
Please me?
You want to hang something?
Go hang people's coats as you were hired to do!
But sir...
"In fact, don't!
You're fired!
Leave art to the artists.
What was all that about?
A wealthy gentleman bought my painting for a lot of money.
Champagne for everyone!
I'm still looking for Mr. Eddie.
Have you ever considered a career in schematic drawing?
No. It would be far too limiting.
At least your work shows genuine promise.
Thank you.
Because I painted many months when I was lacking inspira.
I found some men to help me find Mr. Eddiman.
This way!
Thank you! Thank you!
He's very eager.
"It's terrible, no?"
No. It's... clever.
"He's a clown. And yet he's incredibly angry."
The irony's terrifying.
Is that good?
Is it?
This is interesting.
"But you realize without opposable thumbs
a dog couldn't play poker."
"Yes, they can."
"Now, where have you ever seen a dog playing poker?"
Right there.
Perhaps I'm not the best judge.
Bandits! They came to take away all the paintings!
"Look out, my paintings!"
Quickly! Come this way!
Go!
Thank you, Miss Larouche. You may just have saved our trip.
There you are.
I would like to repay you.
Then take me with you.
What?
I'm stifled here.
Pigeonholed.
They think of me only as a coat check girl!
Why?
Because I am the coat check girl.
Look what the leading art critic in Paris wrote about one of my paintings.
I can't read this. I think it's French.
I wish I couldn't.
Why do you carry it around with you?
So when I do succeed I can throw it in his face.
But for now, I need a world journey to inspire me.
I'm inspired to get us back on schedule.
Let's see.
Wind velocity approximately twelve knots.
Factoring in air density... outstanding!
Passepartout! Onward!
There we go. Tell him to keep the change.
We are going around the world in days!
My God!
They are mad!
The balloon cannot support all this weight.
Your hot air should compensate, no?
Get off! Let go!
What are they doing?
They're being disorderly.
Hey! Let go!
Passepartout, my valise!
It has all my money in it!
Hey, lady! It's my bag.
No, that is my bag!
That's not your bag.
It's my bag. You're crazy!
That tickles.
He took my bag.
Mr. Fogg!
Good catch! Thank you!
Those are the gallery bandits!
The scoundrel stole my purse!
My bag!
We've stolen that old lady's purse.
We must help Passepartout!
How do I make this go lower?
What are you doing?
Decreasing the overall weight won't work.
Yes, it will!
Physics, no?
Yes.
Bon jour!
Bye bye!
Wake up, lady!
Bye, Mama. Miss.
Bye, baby!
Very impressive!
I'd have let go by now.
The statue's grabbing his trousers!
I don't think it's doing it on purpose.
Oh, dear.
Well done.
We're still on schedule despite those dogged thieves.
Thank you.
Those "art thieves" seemed to recognize you.
I look like someone they know.
Some other "Frenchman", perhaps?
So where can we drop you off?
We're not stopping.
Once we land in Munich to board the Orient Express
you are free to go.
Thank you so much.
For what?
For saying I'm free to go with you.
I did not say you were free to come.
I said you were free to go.
Where?
Anywhere. Thank you.
I will go with you.
No, you will not Miss Larouche, Monique.
Miss, Monique.
There. Now we are getting along.
Look at the sunrise.
There is only one word for it - magical.
Miss Larouche!
I refuse to allow you to continue traveling with us.
I'm not traveling with you.
I'm making my own way.
Maybe you shouldn't travel with me.
This is what happens when you leave your home.
You meet... people!
Why are you keeping up this ruse?
Perhaps I'll inform Mr. Fogg
and he and I can speculate together.
A very sacred object was stolen from my village.
I have taken it back.
How incroyable!
For centuries
the Jade Buddha has protected my people.
It has never left our village... until now.
Those "art thieves" who are they?
The Black Scorpions.
They work for an evil warlord, Fang.
She wants the Buddha so she can take over my village.
I must return the Jade Buddha to protect Lanzhou.
Mr. Fogg is the fastest way.
Perhaps, then we can help one another.
I will keep your secret.
And you convince Mr. Fogg to allow me to travel the world with you.
Keep zis dumkopf in his seat or we throw him off!
Merely pointing out that if they coordinated their...
coal shoveling technique they could maximize our speed.
When we reach Constantinople
I suggest you board a train we are not on.
Mr. Fogg, she must come with us.
And why is that?
We just discovered that we are related from the same family.
I'm her father's second cousin's sister on my mother's side.
French.
Monsieur Fogg
if I make the train go faster can I come with you?
Yes.
I bid you farewell Miss Larouche.
If there's anything else you'd like, just let us know.
Champagne with your First Class seats, Miss Larouche.
Merci.
No, thank you.
Merci.
A tea?
Okay!
"How to make English tea."
"Precisely degrees... "
Excuse me, sir.
Fogg's valet!
The Jade Buddha!
It is not a Jade Buddha. Yes, it is!
You're right. But I am not a valet.
Oh, really?
Bloody nose! Let me in!
You'll pay for scorching my willy!
Now I've got you!
You're under arrest!
Sorry!
Why the devil are we stopping?
Prince Hapi would be honored to have Phileas Fogg...
and his traveling companions at his banquet.
How very flattering.
But please inform Prince Hapi we're on a very tight schedule.
Prince Hapi demands it.
Then Prince Hapi will have to get accustomed...
to not getting everything he wants.
It is magnificent!
Mister Fogg, his house is even bigger than yours.
His collection! His taste! It's exquisite!
Yes, it is.
Not good. Look. Broken.
And where is his Highness?
The prince is also a talented musician.
If I did nothing but lounge about all day I'd learn to pluck a few notes.
Let's make this brief I will pose for a few photographs...
perhaps wearing a turban holding an atlas.
How magical that our paths should cross.
Do you believe in fate?
If that's what you call stopping a moving train and kidnapping its passengers.
Phileas Fogg. Please forgive me...
but I feel like Aphrodite herself descended to earth.
How does a ravishing woman like you...?
I never think when I'm naked.
I do. In the bath.
No! Don't touch it.
That is my most treasured possession.
I was only pointing.
Don't even point.
Rodin.
Yes. A Rodin.
I've never seen a more beautiful... muscular form.
I can assure you... I'm in much better shape now.
Incroyable! It is a sculpture of you!
Yes.
"Happy Birthday, your pal, Rodin."
Come, my dear. Let us dine.
Yes.
Mr. Fogg, please join us.
Sorry. We are on a very tight schedule.
We will join you, actually. But just one drink.
After the Duke and the Duchess sat down in the bath...
I realized I forgot to put on my bathing suit.
I'm such a fool, always embarrassing myself in front of visiting dignitaries.
But you know how that can be, right, Phil?
It's Phileas, actually.
So, Foggy, I heard you're an inventor.
I try to think of new ways to better mankind
if that's what you mean.
I'm not an inventor
but I did develop a new way of irrigating dry land...
so that no one in my kingdom ever has to be hungry.
Mr. Fogg invented "wheelie shoes."
Not now, Passepartout.
Miss Larouche?
It is mesmerizing the way your face illuminates.
Her discoloration could be an allergic reaction or a mild form of hives.
Although I've noticed a glow about her complexion when she's drawing.
Sometimes when she's concentrating on her latest work...
her ears will actually flutter.
It's rather fetching.
Well, guess who else was in this bath?
U.S. President Rutherford B Hayes.
Shouldn't we be going now?
We have a schedule to keep.
Thank you for your hospitality, Prince Hapi.
It's been absolutely fascinating
but I'm afraid we must push on.
Yes.
The gentlemen are free to go.
But Miss Larouche stays here with me...
to be my wife.
Yes. Wife number seven.
You have seven wives?
One for each day of the week.
This is absolutely ridiculous.
No more talk! Prince Hapi has spoken.
Well, we did say "one drink."
Passepartout, we're leaving.
I can tell when we're not wanted.
Monsieur Fogg!
Will Tuesdays work for you.
Goodbye!
Thank you!
Nnnnooooo!
Halt! Or Hapi gets smashed!
Please? Anything but my statue of me!
Miss Larouche, please join us.
Drop your weapons.
Do as he says!
Get in the tent.
Everybody! Now!
Come on!
Now take off your clothes and...
I assure you the statue is not armed-harmed-in any way.
In fact, it's completely.
Get them!
His arm!
Thank you, Phileas.
That was very heroic.
Yes, and needlessly time-consuming.
This is exactly why I should never have let you come along.
Kill them! I want my arm back!
Sir, I've received a telegram from Inspector Fix.
According to him, the bank thief and Fogg's valet are the same man.
That numbskull Fogg doesn't even realize he's transporting the bank thief.
Or does he?
He left town in quite a hurry wouldn't you say, Lord Rhodes?
Indeed, Lord Salisbury. Evading arrest...
and stealing a police vehicle...
sounds rather incriminating to me.
One can almost deduce this entire bet...
was merely a ruse to facilitate his escape.
Don't you agree, Lord Kelvin?
Yes. Brilliant, Lord Salisbury!
I shall name a beef-related entrée after you.
Kitchner? Sir?
Inform your men in Scotland Yard that Phileas Fogg...
is without a doubt the man who robbed the Bank of England!
Done. Where are they now?
They're taking a train across India from Bombay to Calcutta.
Thank God we own India.
I want their faces posted in every police station
army barracks...
post office, railway station and outhouse in India.
We're going to stop Fogg and get my Jade Buddha back...
by any means necessary!
Agra is where we will capture them.
Intercept them at Agra.
Carry on, Colonel!
Alright, fall in on the double!
They were the greatest Kung Fu boxers
the Ten Tigers of Canton.
Brothers in arms, they fought to keep order and justice in China.
The most famous of the Ten Tigers is Wong Fei Hung.
One night Wong Fei Hung...
It's salivating on these.
Is this your goat?
Did they really fight like tigers?
Each tiger had his own animal fighting style. The tiger!
Snake!
Where are my steam pressure calculations?
The goat! Passepartout.
I'm being attacked by a ferocious animal!
Sorry, Mr. Fogg.
Please keep that inconsiderate beast away from me.
And refrain from your ridiculous anecdotes.
Why do you not like his story, Mr. Frog?
It's Fogg. Phileas Fogg.
How can man learn...
to defend himself by watching animals behave like... animals?
It is a famous legend.
A ridiculous legend.
Most legends are born from truth.
Yes, but all truths are born from facts.
Solid, tangible facts that can be calculated and written down on paper.
And then eaten by a goat.
Mister Feelsillious
when I tell the story of the man who...
circled the entire world in days
would that not be a legend?
Only if the man's name was Feelsillious Frog.
What the blazes is it now?
Get back inside! Now!
Find these men!
Time to go. They seem to think we robbed the Bank of England.
That's preposterous.
It's merely a desperate attempt by Lord Kelvin to impede my journey.
I am a British citizen.
I have nothing to fear.
Except bullets.
Seen these men?
Any word on the bank thieves, sir?
They were spotted on the train.
Keep your rifles ready.
They won't get past us, sir!
Ladies, have you seen these two men?
Look closely.
They're very dangerous.
They're everywhere!
This is not going to work.
Stay calm. Just act like ladies.
Not a problem.
I feel faint.
Women are not that weak.
No, but I am.
Hello, darling.
What can I do for you?
Wait a minute!
What are you doing?
This is no time to sleep.
Stop! Stop!
Go, go!
Get us out of Agra quickly!
We did it!
Wrong way!
Phileas! No!
Run, Passepartout!
Fogg's valet! I have him!
What are you doing?
Now I've got you!
Hand over the Jade Buddha.
Help! You're under arrest!
Watch my plums!
See? Now you made him very mad!
Let's go!
Stop or I'll arrest you as well!
Run!
Which way?
Down!
Jump!
Go, go, go!
What's upsetting him?
He also wants the Jade Buddha!
Then give it to him!
Wake up!
Please, you must go.
My husband will be home soon.
Phileas! Help!
Fear not! I'll protect you!
I'm here, my dear.
That stumble was simply to buy me time.
This cane is not what it appears.
If I press this button
it will deploy a weapon far deadlier than yours.
This is... a strange knife.
Isn't it a sextant?
Yes.
Are you alright, my dear?
Phileas, it was so enlightening.
Everybody, come with me!
You'd better put this on.
Perhaps I should wear women's clothing more often.
We should run.
Now?
Yes, we should run.
Break down the door!
Okay.
Not on my brains!
Give me that Jade Budd-air!
Okay. What's a Budd-air?
Get ready to jump! Now!
It is him! The Englishman who robbed the Bank of England!
He's escaping in that palki-gharrie!
They'll check all trains heading east.
Even if we make it to the coast we can't sail into Singapore...
or even Hong Kong.
They're both British colonies.
Does England own everything in Asia?
Not China. Not yet.